Please email andrea@andreafisher.com.au to join Andrea for this Teleseminar – designed to provide answers to those questions to may have and to help you understand how this retreat may be able to help you.

When:  Thursday 19th January 2012

Time:  7.30pm Australian Eastern Standard Time.

Andrea

Tantalising Time out In Torquay

10th and 11th December 2011.  For more information and bookings   Click Here

Relinquish Restore and Renew in Bali

27th May - 1st June 2012 - For more information and bookings  click Here

Mind Body Spirit Festival

Reach Your Potential  is also attending the Mind Body Spirit Festival at the Melbourne Convention and Exhibition Centre on 18, 19, 20 November 2011.  Stop by our stand A 41 to introduce yourself.

One step, a day at a time.

Along with seeking treatment to manage depression there are a number of things you can do that may help when you are feeling depressed. Some of these include:

1.      Eat well – be active - Even though you might not feel like it, exercising and eating well can help when you are feeling down.  

 2.    Exercise – helps stimulate hormones, such as endorphins, which help you feel better about yourself and your life.  If you haven’t done a lot of exercise before, it might be a good idea to start doing something small a couple of times each week.  For example, a 15 minute walk.

3.    Get out into nature – Evidence shows that when you have some sort of contact with nature (such as pets, plants, gardens or parks) your mood improves and you feel less stressed. Even just going for a walk in the park may help.

4.    Write down your feelings - or keep a journal. This can be a great way of understanding your emotions and/in a specific situation. It can also help you think about alternative solutions to problems.

 5.    Set some small goals - Sometimes people set goals which are almost unachievable and then feel even worse when they cannot reach them. Try to set goals that are achievable for you, even if it’s on a day by day, or hour by hour, basis. And remember to reward yourself when you get there.

 6.    Take time out to relax – It is a good idea to try and take a bit of each day to do something you enjoy. When you feel down it may be hard to be social or motivate yourself to do things. What do you enjoy?  Make a list of all the things you enjoy doing and then plan to do something from this list each day.

 7.    Talk to someone - Although it may seem hard, sharing how you feel and hanging out with someone you trust can help you get through the hard times. Other people may help you see alternative ways of solving or thinking about a problem.  If you are having difficulty speaking about what you’re going through, you might start with sentences such as  ’Right now, I’m feeling…’, ‘I think it started when…’, ‘I’ve been feeling this for…’, ‘My sleep has been…’, ‘Lately school/work/uni has been…’.

 8.    Support groups – As well as family and friends, support groups can be a place to share experiences and inspiration with others going through similar times. Contact your local community health centre for details of support groups in your area.  Alternatively, there are many different support groups online

 9.    Ring a crisis line - If you feel you are having difficulty talking to people you know, phone a crisis line. Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800 free call from landline) or Lifeline (13 11 14 – cost of local call from landline) are both anonymous, 24hr help lines (the number doesn’t show up on your phone bill).

 10.  Go easy on drugs and alcohol – Try not to use drugs or alcohol in the hope of feeling better. The feeling from these is usually temporary, the after effects often make the problem worse.

 11.  Breathe – take some slow, deep breaths to relax the body to calm you down and to help you focus.

 12.  Positive thoughts – your outlook can influence the way you see things e.g. cup half empty, cup half full.  With practice, you can learn to think like an optimist.

One step, a day at a time.

Choose one item from the checklist today. 

Practise each positive step for at least a few days before moving on to another positive step. Don’t try to take too many steps at once.

These are written in first person, so that you can “own” them – that is really believe this is your work to do.

1. I will start today by saying “I can, I will, This Will Work”

2. I will start a Journal and make an entry each day – even if it is only a little entry.  When I look back on this Journal I will be able to see how far I have travelled in overcoming my anxiety.

3. I will accept that not everything is perfect, nature created flowers and no two are the exact same.  Being perfect is only an ideal and is not realistic.

4. This week I will take time to RELAX.  Schedule or diarise a relaxation or me time and do just that, sit back and listen to some music, read a book.  Just take some uninterrupted time for me.

5. I will practise saying “NO” to the things I do not really want to do.  Perhaps I can say, “Thank you for asking and I cannot to that today”  Think about how you will say this and practise in front of the mirror.

6.I will make an effort to stop my blocking behaviours:  no negativity, no complaining and I will be pleasant for others to be around.

7.  I will practise my breathing for when I may feel anxious, (take a deep breath in through the nose, out through the mouth, saying the word “relax” and thinking relaxing thoughts. By practising on a regular basis this will make it easier for me to remember when I am anxious.

8. Today I will rule a line down a piece of paper.  On one side write a list of the things I am afraid will happen. On the other, write the calming things which are the opposite of my fear.

9. I will look positively rather than negatively at things so that I may enjoy the beauty in myself and in the life around me.

10. I will think about the type of music I like and listen to my music for at least 20 minutes a day – when I am working, when I am relaxing and, especially when I am feeling anxious and stressed.  I may even sing along out loud.

11. I will take 10 – 30 minutes each day to practise self hypnosis or relaxation techniques.( how to do this – See HERE )

12.  I will not just sit there – I will MOVE!  I will go outside and enjoy Mother Nature, go for a short walk and take time to stop and smell the Roses.

13.  I will Laugh a Little! Give myself permission to be a kid again –drawing, painting, jigsaw puzzles, play dough. Get in touch with the child inside me.

14.   Today I will set REALISTIC goals for myself.

Want more information? 

See HERE

Don’t worry, you are not alone!

Setbacks and difficulties occur all of the time – they are a natural part of life. There are two ways to face these challenges. You either change or alter the difficulty or you can alter yourself to be able to deal with it. Deal with difficulties correctly and it will enhance your confidence, deal with them incorrectly and they can do some serious damage to your self esteem and an increase in stress.

Have a look at your own response to issues and difficulties. When you are faced with any setback your ability to deal with it can be turned around into a position of strength by asking yourself positive empowering questions.

There is an unwritten rule that says: “Ask your mind a stupid question and you will get a stupid answer!”

So, if after a setback you ask yourself something like, “Why does this always happen to me, I never have any luck?” Your mind will probably come out with: “Because you are useless and good things do not happen to me!”

Does this sound familiar? Have you spoken to yourself like this before? Instead, if you ask yourself a more positive empowering question like: “What did I learn from this setback for next time?” Then, your mind will kick into solution mode and help.

 Here are some strategies and things to think about when setbacks do occur:

• Acknowledge that it has happened. Don’t hide from it. These things happen. Say to yourself, “So what?”
• What positive empowering questions can you ask yourself?
• What is good about this situation?
• How can I make the most of this situation?
• What can I learn from it?
• What are the facts about this problem?
• How can I make it a successful outcome?
• Acknowledge that setbacks occur to everyone and you are not being singled out. You can single yourself out for a more positive change by refocusing your thinking.
• View setbacks as a challenge to overcome rather than an issue or problem.

Think about the negative disempowering thoughts that you may think at present after a setback. Instead of these thoughts, what new empowering questions could you ask yourself to give some better answers?

When you find these questions, write these down and make it a habit to approach a setback as a challenge in the future.

Then when I got home and in the next couple of days, I started to have doubts and second thoughts…. “What have I done? I haven’t been in a show since high school! I don’t have time to do this – I am already busy.” However, I decided to give it a go and to audition….   After all the worst I could do was to not be offered a part. So the following Sunday I presented myself and tried to overcome my nerves and did my best. This was a total change of scenery for me and something I have wanted to do for many years.

Lo and behold, that night I received a call to be offered the part! I accepted and I’m delighted to be in the show with my daughter who was also successful at auditions.

So why am I telling you all this? Well I decided that I need to maintain a balance in my life between work and play and this show is a means for me to take myself out of my comfort zone and find a new way to gain recreation and balance in my life. This for me is a useful way of managing the stress of my working life, and regaining balance between work and play. When you are self employed it is easy to spend lots of extra hours in work! It is important to make opportunities for strategies to take yourself away from the stressful areas of your life to relax or de-stress.

So have a look at your life. Do you have a balance of work and play, recreation and service? If not, look at what you can give up or change to make room for balance. Don’t simply add another commitment – it won’t work. Adjust your life to make room for balance by examining what you can eliminate which is not true to your purpose or passions, or which causes you stress with no positive returns.

I have just returned from two weeks at the beach, and although the weather was a bit disappointing, I have returned refreshed and rejuvenated for 2011. Even the rainy weather, which has caused so much hardship for those in Queensland and north-western Victoria, could be reframed for me, into a positive. I was able to take advantage of the lack of beach weather to take in a couple of films which I might otherwise not have seen. One of these was “The King’s Speech”, an amazing story of how a monarch overcame what was seen as a significant disability (he had a bad stutter) to be able to speak publicly for his subjects. Sometimes we think that the hurdles in front of us are too great. However, with determination, application and some specific help we are able to make enormous changes in our lives that others think may not be possible. This could be the case for you too in 2011. I’d recommend seeing the film. Although serious, it is both entertaining and inspirational.

Perhaps there is a habit you would like to change this year. For some people changing habits can be very stressful and the prospect is enough for them to feel anxious and give up before they start. It doesn’t need to be this way. I have included a link with the Habit Change Guide by Leo Barbauta. Leo is a successful blogger who is married with six kids and has recently moved from Guam to San Francisco. His blog is called www.zenhabits.net.

This guide contains some very helpful and practical strategies for permanently changing habits in our lives. You may enjoy making small but significant changes, which when put together determine amazing differences.  This is far more useful and achievable than making dramatic New Year’s resolutions as we discussed earlier in the year.  This type of change is more likely to be permanent and far less stressful to attempt and achieve.  Make a point of reading Leo’s guide – I’m sure there will be something in there for you to learn.

So, focus on managing your stress by developing good habits, or changing entrenched bad habits into something that works well for you.  If your issue is rushing about in the morning trying to get ready to leave the house, then think about how you could make changes that will lead to the morning being a calmer and more peaceful time in which you feel well prepared and ready to face the day.  Eliminating stress at the beginning of the day promotes a much more positive beginning which must lead to a better start for the working time.  Leo’s guide will help you identify what changes you can put into place and how you can enable these changes to be permanent and stress free.

“Habits are safer than rules; you don’t have to watch them. And you don’t have to keep them either. They keep you.” Frank Crane

This then leads to a further increasing pressure which manifests itself as stress. So the very thing that we are undertaking to reduce our stress and add more enjoyment and satisfaction in our lives, is actually leading to increased stress! Yes you are right, this doesn’t make sense.

STOP RIGHT THERE!

Let’s look at this realistically. The new year is a logical time to think about making changes and, reflect on the year that has been, what we may or may not have achieved. However, let go of the past – you cannot change it. Review what was good and be thankful. Acknowledge what didn’t work so well, and then leave it behind, having learned from how you might improve. Drawing a line under the old year allows you to reduce any stress you may carry with you from the past.

A sense of stress is simply an overload of demands on us versus resources we have to manage them. So be realistic. Limit the demands and prepare well for the things you want to do when you make resolutions. Do not feel pressured to set a New Year’s resolution just because it is 1 January. Take a look at your whole life and identify the areas that cause you stress. What would you like to change? Don’t focus on what is bad – rather think about how you would like to be. For example rather than say: ” I don’t want to be overweight and I want to lose 20 kg”, focus on how you would like to feel. So you may say to yourself: ” I would like to enjoy the benefits of a healthy body within the correct height to weight ratio.” Name your change as a positive rather than a negative.

Set realistic, achievable goals. Stating that you want to lose 10 or 15 or even 20 kg means that you have set yourself up for a failure. If you don’t reach that magical number you have not achieved your resolution. It is more important to focus on positive change. If you need to put a number on it then it may be that the short-term goal of losing 2 kg by the end of the next month is far more achievable and realistic. This is one you can celebrate when you have achieved the goal. You can then set another small, achievable goal. But an even better goal would be to plan to eat well and be active in next month. A natural consequence of that will be a likely loss of weight.

Prepare carefully and plan for what you wish to achieve. Rather than state that you are stopping smoking today, draw on the support and resources that you know will help you achieve the resolution you wish to set. This may involve contacting the Quit Program to gain some written resources and tips on how to achieve your goal. You might like to contact other smokers who would like to make a similar change and volunteer to offer each other support. Time and effort spent in setting up good support networks will enhance your chance of success and minimise your stress.

Good self care such as ensuring plenty of sleep, eating well and being active support any change we wish to make in our lives. Note the focus on making change rather than making a New Year’s resolution. It is a change that counts – not the promise. Change is a longer-term strategy with a much greater chance of success. If I asked 10 people who make New Year’s resolutions how they are going a week or two after they made them, I will probably find that most have abandoned them already. This creates more stress and reinforces the sense of being unable to make a permanent change.

Finally, cut out the negative self talk. Be positive and enjoy the opportunity to reduce and eliminate stress in your life by planning for change in a way that promotes success.

It is important to remember that stress is a normal response when you react to a stressful event or thought. You can react in physical ways in the body such as tension, high blood pressure or an ulcer, or you may have an emotional response such as nervousness. It is also common to respond in your thinking for example by having poor concentration or in your behaviour by engaging in destructive habits such as increased drinking or eating.

You may have heard of the ” fight or flight response”. This is a physiological reaction you have in times of danger the brain releases stress hormones to enable you to stand and face the danger or to run away to remain safe. In short bursts it is very helpful. However a continued response of fight or flight in times of high levels of stress over a long period of time can be very destructive and lead to illness, both mental and physical. Being totally stress free would mean that you would never have to have a fight or flight response. But I suspect you would never achieve much either! It is all about balance.

Rather than dream of a possibly unachievable and probably boring stress free existence, it is far more helpful to develop your stress management techniques to be able to recognise and control your response to stress triggers. That way you will be able to harness the benefits of increased performance when under some stress, without the destruction of an overload of stress. Learn to be a manager of stress rather than a passive victim of its negative effects.